Some Times Things Go Well...

...and that's enough. At least for the moment. Sometimes I take my stuff awfully seriously. My friends and Lady Linda have often told me so. I throw myself into what I am doing be that kayaking, photography or what ever. And, that's not necessarily a bad thing, until I get into something that doesn't feel right. I feel stuck, I don't sense a way to improve and I load myself up with the judgment that I should be doing better with less effort. I have just begun to emerge from such a period.

Most of it was around taking on the new teaching jobs. Two different and new schools, each with its own style and methods. What I had come to do naturally all at once required slow and deliberate preparation. I actually had to do some work. One place had rather structured demands for teaching and testing while the other was loosey-goosey and required creativity. Now, after a quarter of the term, I am in the flow.

Two days ago I gifted myself with a solo two-hour paddle on the big lake. I found 3+ confused waves on the outside and enjoyed just paddling around in it. Most boats out that day, including some sizable sailboats, chose to stay inside the harbor, so I had the lake pretty much to myself. How great it felt.

Back in my element and relaxed, I bounced, edged and sometimes just sat, all the time feeling the mighty water beneath playing with me as if I were a speck of dust. I sculled in the stuff and carved turns and, once again, felt competent. How wonderful. The next day I noticed I had a different energy and positive feeling at the schools. I remembered who I was, what I could do and realized I had fought and won bigger battles. In fact, as I walked into the College of Health Sciences at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee yesterday, it occurred to me that there should be a course entitled Kayak Therapy 107: dealing with self esteem issues.

Paddle safe...

DS