Friday, September 24, 2010

Some Times Things Go Well...
...and that's enough. At least for the moment. Sometimes I take my stuff awfully seriously. My friends and Lady Linda have often told me so. I throw myself into what I am doing be that kayaking, photography or what ever. And, that's not necessarily a bad thing, until I get into something that doesn't feel right. I feel stuck, I don't sense a way to improve and I load myself up with the judgment that I should be doing better with less effort. I have just begun to emerge from such a period.

Most of it was around taking on the new teaching jobs. Two different and new schools, each with its own style and methods. What I had come to do naturally all at once required slow and deliberate preparation. I actually had to do some work. One place had rather structured demands for teaching and testing while the other was loosey-goosey and required creativity. Now, after a quarter of the term, I am in the flow.

Two days ago I gifted myself with a solo two-hour paddle on the big lake. I found 3+ confused waves on the outside and enjoyed just paddling around in it. Most boats out that day, including some sizable sailboats, chose to stay inside the harbor, so I had the lake pretty much to myself. How great it felt.

Back in my element and relaxed, I bounced, edged and sometimes just sat, all the time feeling the mighty water beneath playing with me as if I were a speck of dust. I sculled in the stuff and carved turns and, once again, felt competent. How wonderful. The next day I noticed I had a different energy and positive feeling at the schools. I remembered who I was, what I could do and realized I had fought and won bigger battles. In fact, as I walked into the College of Health Sciences at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee yesterday, it occurred to me that there should be a course entitled Kayak Therapy 107: dealing with self esteem issues.

Paddle safe...
DS

6 comments:

Lee said...

thanks for the great post. I feel the excact same.Replace your profession with mine and our world/view of it seems very similar.

cheers

Silbs said...

Thanks, Lee. How did you get the title for your blog??

Mackayak said...

Thank you Silbs - I also find that its the 'bigger battles' (in the boat)that sure keep work issues in perspective for me.

Lee said...

Sitting here thinking of what to enter for a blog title...I started thinking of most of the things that brought me joy outside. most were words ending in ING =0)

Silbs said...

Aye, Lass. That it does.
Lee, I get the ending thing; but how does ING=0?

Lee said...

I think it's just how blogger displays 's instead of ING's it displays it as ING=0. I notice it with quite a few blogs have &## etc in them.

I'm thinking of going to a .ca domain in the new year