Friday, May 04, 2007

Scientific Discoveries:
Why Your Helmet Fits Better Each Year

There is actually little to say. The headline in our daily rag, yesterday, says it all. All those brewskies being downed after a hard day (usually two hours...but I digress) on the water have been quietly taking their toll. This explains not only the mysterious enlarging of our helmets but some of the behavior seen on the water (and in blogs).

One has to wonder how this new information will change the sociological reference's now in use. Having a big head, for instance, may actually mean one is devoid of OH radicals in the blood stream. If this all generates enough fear, being called hung over will only refer to the stomach over the belt phenomena (the so-called Milwaukee tumor) evident in non-exercisers. Finally, one has to wonder if, by serendipity, we've finally unlocked the mysteries of the head hunters and how they shrunk those heads. All in all, not a bad way to go.

So, next time your paddling partner can't seem to remember port-left, starboard-right; or if they start low bracing with the power face of the blade; or if they pack that metal pot in the forward hatch right under the compass; just get out the tape measure and see if their hat size has shrunk.

Paddle safe...


1 comment:

Capt'n "O" Dark 30 said...

I've been telling people this for years... Just look at our Prez...

His head is the size of a Kiwi Fruit