Tuesday, February 05, 2008

They, Us and Them
There are, according to the Silbs Scientific System of Categorization (SSC), three types of inhabitants up here where temps can get below 0 degrees F. SSC requires only that you know how the person you wish to categorize feels about and handles the winter months.
SSC I: These folks hate winter and loath the cold. Now, while there is a bit of this present in type II folks, it is the dominant attitude of the Type I species. These folks only appear outside to get essential food and to go to work/school. They are occassionaly spotted being carried by stretcher to an ambulance when their indoor sedentary life results in a heart attack. Family, jobs, financis and/or laziness prevents them from moving south. Some simply stay here because they cannot get their cars started.
SSC III: (I know, I skiipped group II. Just work with me here). These are the Michaels of the world. They ski and snow shoe and, generally, revel in the piles of snow that come too soon and stay too long. One fascinating subset of these folks actually drive their cars out onto the ice, park them there (with hot engines melting the ice) and saw a hole in the lake so they might fish! Another off shoot of this general group (and often seen hee in Wisconsin) is the species mobilis obesus. These are surprisingly over weight, well insulated men in bulky suits who love to go out into a pristine snow scene on a quite night and roar about in the dark on their soot-producing snowmobiles as they go from bar to bar.
SSC II: (Told you I would get to it). I am in this group. We never enter essay contests on the subject of why I love winter. We realize this is a natural phenomena and that it will, eventually, pass. We accept that it is nature's way of killing off the weak (read: snowmobilers) and that it allows Mother Earth to rest up for another growing season. So we paddle, bird watch, walk and do what we can to keep up our physical and mental health until the big thaw occurs. We can also be found in gyms, bars and comfy chairs in front of fire places. We stay here because of friends and families, although a huge percentage of us flee the cold and absurd taxes by heading south when we retire. We also support the travel agencies by buying tickets to Florida and Arizona.
There you have it. Hopefully, you will now understand us better when you visit. On the other hand, if you are coming for a visit, I'd recommend July or August.
Paddle safe...
DS

6 comments:

Kristen said...

Excellent, Silbs. Now you'll need to write about SSCIV - those not crazy enough to live there in the first place?

Silbs said...

OUCH! Let's see who is laughing when the climate changes and we have the ocean front property and palm trees here.

JohnB said...

Actually shouldn't that be "SSSC"? (I count three "S"s in that label.

And, of course there is the joy of driving the obstacle course, playing dodge 'em with the pot holes that are eating cars as we speak.

Silbs said...

JB, you paint such a happy picture :)

DaveO said...

The only thing I really dislike about winter is operating a motor vehicle, with the above mentioned potholes, frozen hind end, and my fellow challenged drivers. The rest is all good in my humble opinion

JohnB said...

daveo--I never realized how nice heated seats were until I got mine fixed last winter--now my tosh is nice and warm, and when we go a road trippin' so is Silbs' :))