Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Learning To Be Afraid...
All Over Again

(caption: "Hey mom, we're almost out of chewing tobacco)

Lady Linda and I are off by car to visit grandson Joseph and those two adults with whom he shares a house. This fellow's entrance into the world has brought on the same feelings that appeared when his mother and aunt were born.

Having seen my daughters reach adulthood and become their own persons, I had finally come to grips with all my demons and had arrived in a place free of fear, anger and sadness. Bliss. Then, along comes Joseph and all the old feelings return. There is, once again, another human being who I worry about more than I ever worry about myself. There is now a small person for whose safety I worry. I watch the news and, once again, feel fear and sadness about the world in which he will be living. It is at such times that I realize that, unlike a chemical equation/reaction, my world will never reach a steady state.

In one way, these feelings are a welcome burden. First, they take me outside of myself and make me look at the bigger picture. Second, it is a small price to pay for the joy these newbies have brought into my life.

There will be more changes and, as I grow older and older, more fears. And, I do believe, that's exactly how it should be.

Be grateful this thanksgiving (for American readers...but I digress) for what you have.

Paddle safe...



Dawn (aka SandyBottom) said...

My kids are 19 and 21, am I going to get to that place free of fear and sadness soon?

Silbs said...

You will, but it may be brief. It is most likely to happen on a Tuesday :)